Forcing Myself to Write- Day 9

Too many to count.

I have played many characters, many of which I have forgotten. But I will forever have a part of my brain that comes up with more I'd like to play. Hell, I have been invited to play with another group recently, and I am excited about playing a Drow noble entrusted with guarding the world from a demon bound in his sword, Toreador Malkovian.

But Toreador is just the one that is up next. I have a dozen superheros waiting to be played, some shadow runners, a fewer sci-fi characters... the list just goes on.

So, I guess my final answer to "favorite PC I'd like to play" is "the next one."

Forcing Myself to Write- Day 8

I will get this question wrong unless I go about it objectively.

I have played many characters, and have a tendency of playing drastically differing roles each time I play. And this is just characters I remember playing! So, I will elect my favorite via most sessions played:

• Fox (first character I remember playing, half-elf ranger) 5? (actually, assume a question mark following all numbers except 1)
• Myself (seriously, just stating myself up as I was at the time and running like that) 36
• Fitz the Fighter (no description needed) 3
• Short Shank (halfling rogue) 2
• Taylor Jannorson (half-elf pirate rogue) 20
• Evelazaira Dua'Clarys (elf illusionist) 4
• Reno Sanchez (elf gun bunny) 2
• David Colden/Winter Waif (werewolf college student in Nome) 3
• Daniel Aether (mage, mercenary seer) 12
• Tesla, Priest of Science (human rogue) 8
• Bergerac (drow bard) 8
• Keith (just... Keith) 15
• Dr. Sigmund Kavorkian Cid (alchemist) 5
• Talon Rose (aerosmith) 3
• "Jaq" Jaquilyn Lindquist (mecha buster/assassin) 1
• Dorian the Pornomancer (drow enchanter) 1
• Sgt Robert Williams (SWAT vampire hunter) 1
• Dorugar (dwarf rogue) 3
• Azael (half-elf rogue/ranger/monk) 1
• Squishy (slime assassin) 1
• The Mokoto Brothers (a samurai and a wizard) 6
• The Fearsome Dave (engineer) 1

So it looks like just from the sheer sessions played, I am my own favorite PC.

I don't have too much of a problem with this. I am not to special, but part of the fun of games for me is creative solutions to problems, and if I can not do this with my skill set and my tools, what good am I?

I think part of the problem with "escapism fantasy" is that because people want to play someone better than themselves, they forget to improve themselves in the process. They stop learning, stop trying, and stop having their own adventures until "adventure" is just a game term to them.

Look outside! Look at the news! Look at science! The real world is fucked up and awesome. We have monsters, political intrigue, strange afflictions, explorable landscapes, weird facts of reality, and treasure everywhere. You could, right after reading this blog, go maybe five miles and pass by so many adventure hooks that if you were made conscious of each one your head would explode.

Maybe yourself sucks. That is a common complaint I hear from people who stat themselves up honestly. I used to game with a guy who had mostly 8s in all his stats except Int and Wis, which were 11 and 10. My answer is so what? Is that any worse than the thief with 5 Str who knows he could never win in a honest fight? It just forces you to think! If you, as a person, have a bunch of 8s and 7s for stats and still want to try it, you're already part bad-ass. You graduate to full bad-ass once you survive one adventure with your sucky, neck-beardy stats. And maybe that success in a game will show you your potential outside it.

Forcing Myself to Write- Day 7

Yes (except 4)

I refuse to play any game "straight" more than once. I started in D&D 3, learned about AD&D and played some of that, tried 4 and hated it straight, and from what I played of 5 I liked it enough. And the conclusion I have drawn is that all the editions need help. 4 is beyond help for me to enjoy it, but I like D&D 3 with AD&D encounters, initiative and henchmen, and a lot of the things I change looked like the things that happened in 5 anyway. Never got a copy of 2 (same with Halo) so I have nothing to say on that, nor have I even seen a copy OD&D. But you can bet I would steal crap from those if I could.

Forcing Myself to Write- Day 6

Brigid, hands down.

I have a personal vestment in this. I am a pagan, so this is not so much a gaming question as a religious for me. Thus I have a patron goddess, and she is Brigid, a goddess of healing, smithing, creativity and poetry. A goddess so robust that she has survived virtually unchanged across three religions that I am aware of.

Which reminds me, I need to collect some notes on some Irish and Celtic gods and make a gameable pantheon.

Forcing Myself to Write- Day 5

Do I have favorite dice? What does the hell does that even mean? Are we talking a die type, or my favorite die to use, or what the hell?

(distracting dance)

I still have to write, huh?

....

fuck it.

Just about all my dice hate everyone and seem to determined to cause the most grief to the greatest number of individuals possible. Thus, they are ideal for the GMing trade,  but so unlikable that I have no favorites. My blue and silver moon d20 is the one I hate the least.

I like thirty siders. They are dorky cool and never used in any game ever. Thus, you buy them and immediately set up excuses in which they are to be used. Hell, I think they even have their own knightly order or some shit.

Forcing Myself to Write- Day 4

Favorite Game World?

I used to buy campaign settings. This was back when I was a terrible GM and need professionals to build good scenery for me. I have held on to exactly two- Kingdoms of Kalamar and Gaia: Beyond the Dreams. Gaia is the last setting I picked up, Kalamar was the first. I'm better at world building now, even if I still have yet to publish anything to verify this, but these two settings have influenced how I approach it.

Kalamar is a mediocre campaign setting as is, because it is a more politically and culturally diverse version of the Forgotten Realms type setting- long lists of canonized details of lands with mention of monsters and treasure and shit, but no encounter tables and a few new feats and items scattered about for players. But one thing it did right was the notable NPCs. After hundreds of pages of dry description and charts, collected in the back of the setting book is everyone mentioned in a table with what level and class they are, as well as where they are found. No stats in the text, no possessions or equipment that is lugged around for the day they go to adventure, just class, level, and the implication that you know your group better than they do.

But Gaia is where it is at. At first just painted in broad strokes in the Anima core book, Gaia is a world that actually adds to the game. Notables are just given a class and level in parenthesis after their name. Locations were given no more than a paragraph unless they related directly to an adventure. And at the end of each country was given some region-specific generic NPCs, some stat bonuses player from here could take as a trait, and a random starting equipment/social status table for PCs from the area, clearly designed to replace the generic one in the core book. Couple this with the adventure ideas and the plots that were designed to be aided or foiled by players, and you have an amazing setting for many campaigns. It also helps that the world is clearly breakable- Gaia assume the player begin about six months after an empire has shattered due to some world shaking artifact being used in the capitol. I got the impression that you could do anything from that point, be it stealing and traveling without a care, trying to reunify the empire, or hunt down and kill the child empress.

Forcing Myself to Write- Day 3

I like thieves and rogues.

It almost seems not worth justifying...

Oh well, I wanted to write anyway.

When you get down to it, I like smart and crazy characters. Deadpool, Batman, Joker, Rebecca Buck, Riddick, Seth Green, Porco Rosso... the list goes on. I associate having non-combat skills with the kind of intelligence I see in these characters, especially a wide variety in talents and skills. From the beginning of RPG, the Thief class was the one of the first that had skill sets beyond common men that were not fighting or magic related. Nowadays most games have some skill system that goes beyond combat, but in most cases it is still rogues that have the greatest variety in skills.

But one must remember that rogues are insane. They almost never fight as well as other classes, they never have spells, never have a god on their side, and most only use small blades and tool kits. But for some reason they still feel up to taking on things that would daunt one armed with magic or mighty arms. I can picture someone looking over a party of adventures and having the following conversation with the thief:
"You don't seem as well armed as the others. What can you do?"
"Hide, steal things and notice traps."
"Can you fight?"
"Kinda, if I get the guys back..."
"Can you cast spells?"
"Nope."
"Do the gods favor you?"
"I think a few hate me for stealing from temples. That count?"
"So what will you do?"
"I'm going into a big hole in the ground full of things that can use magic and/or fight better than me. Then I'm going to take their stuff."
"How?"
"By being smarter and luckier. I hope."
"... Very well then. Good luck to you, cra- I mean good sir."

But in the end, I like using my intelligence and more than a little luck to get through a challenge. If playing a rogue or watching others playing a rogue can be summarized, it would be as so:

“For a job like getting rid of the drug dealer next door, I’ll take a hardware store over a gun any day. Guns make you stupid; better to fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart.” 

-Michael Westen, Burn Notice

Forcing Myself to Write- Day 2

Favorite PC race? Orcs, hands down.

First of all, orcs are totally playable races in most games worth playing. Even half orcs are fun. But full-blooded orcs are a great thinking exercise.

As a player, if I play an orc I recognize that there are going to be assumptions about my character. Orc often causes one to assume the being in question is brutish, unsophisticated and violent. These are all desirable traits in most characters I want to play, but serve best as a start. Orc characters are amazing if you assume brutality and lack of refined etiquette, then add that as seasoning to something else. Orc diplomats are awesome. Orc bards are awesome. Orc scientists are awesome. Even an orc barbarian, almost a redundant statement of character, can be awesome if you throw in a "but also." Orc barbarian, but also a tactician. Orc barbarian, but also a shaman. Orc barbarian ronin. Monastic orc barbarian.

As a GM, I love orcs as a playable race for all the reasons above, but also because the assumption of violence and crudeness is all the more fun as you develop orc culture. I draw on Hun and Mongol nomadic influences, Native American tribal structure, Norse raiding culture, and just about all I can learn about "barbarians" to include orcs that are not just monsters, but monsters that could be family for a player across the table from me. I muse on orcs often, because orcs are just things we don't like about ourselves anyway. Some people I may be related to put people inside wooden people and set it one fire to please the gods? I don't like that about people, but when orcs do the exact same thing it just seems to fit.

Also, Dominic Deegan orcs are amazing.

Creation Myth- the Beast of Knowledge

Long ago, before there were men, there were demons, gods and beasts. Each lived in their own world, but visited frequently and peaceably. Above them were Titans, powerful beings neither beast nor demon nor god, but fathers and mothers to all. Queen and mother to the Titans, and thus to all things, was Talahm, for she was the first Titan born and made of the world. And Talahm loved her children and wanted to see their works.

As Talahm searched her domains she found a cave that glowed with light. Inside she found a strange beast. It had four arms, four legs, four eyes and ears, two mouths, but a single heart. This beast was not hunting or resting, but rather striking stone upon stone to produce fire. As Talahm watched this beast, she grew fascinated and approached. "Where did you learn to do that?" Talahm asked.

"A demon taught me," said the beast, "but the demon is gone. It ran laughing, because it knew that I, the Beast of Knowledge, could never be happy knowing only one thing."

Talahm loved the demons and their cruelty, but she also loved the beasts and their arts. If a bear could not slumber or a tiger could not kill, it would be just as cruel as a Beast of Knowledge not learning all things. Thus she smiled on the beast as she extended her hand. "Come," she said, "I shall bring you before the beasts of the wild, the gods of the aether and the demons of the wake. For I am their mother and queen, and can make all teach you their arts."

And so the Beast of Knowledge and Talahm courted gods, beasts and demons to learn their arts. From the beasts were learned all manner of physical skill and prowess. From the gods were learned feeling and the manipulation of spirit through song and magic. From demons were extracted thought and logic, craftsmanship and weapons of the mind. All these things did the Beast of Knowledge consume and incorporate into its being. As Talahm watched the Beast grow and mature, her love for it grew as well. Before all other creations, or ever her Titan kin, the Beast of Knowledge had secured a position in Talahms heart as her favorite in all the world.

At last the Beast of Knowledge had learned all things from beast, god and demon. Talahm asked Torm the Doom Maker, chieftain of the An Chead Dia clan of gods, to accept the Beast of Knowledge among them. "I cannot," doomed Torm, "for god and beast cannot be kin."

"But the Beast of Knowledge has learned divine arts," said Talahm. "Is he not a god already? Does not knowledge of your ways make him equal?" Torm sat upon his throne and pondered is response, for the the word of Torm is doom and cannot be gainsaid. Talahm squared her jaw and pressed her position. "If you are to remain quiet, allow me to propose replacement. Let me strip yonder god of their divinity that the Beast of Knowledge may use it. No god is lost, and you gain the Beast's knowledge."

"Nay, Mother of All!" thundered Torm. "If you or your kin harm my brethren in divinity, I shall call all my kin to bring an end to yours."

Torm's doom spoken, Talahm wept and told the Beast what had transpired. "I know the Doom Maker cannot be gainsaid, for Torm's word is doom. But I am the Beast of Knowledge, the beast that learns all that the world offers." The beast lifted Talahms face to his. "The arts of gods, beasts and demons are known to me, but the arts of your kin remain to be known. Teach me how gods are made, that I may create a son worthy of my arts."

Talahm agreed, and lay down with the Beast of Knowledge for one hundred days and one hundred nights to create a god child. The child she named Creideamh, and passed on her newest son to the Beast that the father may bless his son. The Beast of Knowledge smiled and held his son aloft, chanting words Talahm had not heard before. It was not until the Beast slew her babe the Talahm knew what had happened, for the Beast had twisted god magic with demon logic, preparing the son for consumption via beastly arts. This foul ritual had transferred the divinity of the child Creideamh to the Beast of Knowledge, thus transforming him from beast to god.

Talahm howled in rage and grief, heart broken and bleeding in the wake of betrayal. She seized the Beast and Knowledge and tore him in two, casting aside the the bloody and squealing halves. Thus, Talahm had doomed the Titans to war with the gods.

But gods are never so easily slain. The Beast of Knowledge, in pain with a loneliness he had never known, crawled until the two halves met and attempted to rejoin. The union was imperfect, clumsy and could never be maintained for long, but still the Beast tried. Each union was a failure, and each failure bore a copy of one half or the other into the world. The beast noticed them after his cave became too crowded for another joining to commence. Worse, he noticed these duplicate halves were also attempting their own joinings, and producing yet more of their kind. He named the beings that resembled his right half men, and those like his left he called women. He taught them the arts he had learned from gods, beasts and demons, but none could learn all he had gained. Still, the Beast of Knowledge withheld from his children the Final Art he had stolen from Talahm, lest it ever be used to destroy him. Men and women left the cave of the Beast of Knowledge, to take the gift of knowledge and use it to make their way among gods, beasts and demons.

Forcing Myself to Write- Day 1

So, how did I get started?

Honestly, I first got interested in the game because of the Knights of the Dinner Table. I was about eleven, had just moved to a tiny village away from all my (probably imaginary) friends, and my parents had gotten some copies of the Bundles of Trouble as a gift. They had played D&D and laughed about the comics as they were intended, but I laughed because these were comics about some guys hanging out and talking about wasting dragons with crossbows and fireballs. I wanted friends, and I wanted to talk about made-up fantasy worlds, so the type of game they were playing seemed like a thing worth checking out.

So, my parents picked me up a copy of D&D 3 and we ran some games. I had little to no clue how to play, my GMing was terrible, and it took me almost eight years to figure out that I was playing the game wrong. KoDT was funny because the play style they represented was the worst way to go about playing any RPG. The GM and players are not supposed to be antagonistic, the rules lawyer is the worst player at the table, and Sara should have left the table years ago.

I should probably reread the comics again. They were funny.

On Shit

My wife and I had a conversation about conversing with my dad. For context without violating trust, let it be enough that my wife is someone who had lived through violent experiences as a child. My father had grown up starving and poor, and has today built an entire business that teaches others how to protect themselves from violence. In short, both have been through shit.

So when I told my wife that this is the reason that I felt that her opinion would forever be more valid to my father than mine, she felt a need to reassure me. This launched an entire conversation about simple observations I had made.

First, I want it to be understood that I am autistic. I am high functioning and have refused to be on any form of disability program past high school to prove to myself that I can use this as a superpower. As a result, I forced myself to learn about human behavior and social cues. But every now and again I find someone else who is autistic. The Highlander sense activates: we both notice each others presence, we both know that we are both aliens born on another planet in the form of humans (that really is how it feels to be autistic) and thus we know that we are alike in some way. It is two-way, it seems innate, and it seems to serve as a means to establish a baseline for communication. This is important later.

Second, there is a difference between having gone through shit and being in shit. This is mostly my wife being smarter than me, but she pointed out that these two classes of people who have had horrible events in their lives are what defines a survivor and a victim. She summarized it as like looking at two doors out of a shitty situation, labeled "bottle up and wait," and "let's get through it." Victims chose that first door. Victims do not get out of the shit, they just wallow in it until something outside of themselves pull them out. It is easy, it is unintentional, and if you get out you are still covered in shit that you still have to deal with. These people stink from a mile away. I am not programmed to pick up on social cues and can still pick them out. In high school I dated these people to try and save them. And of course this ended up just dragging me down into the shit with them.

Third is the people who chose the "let's get through this" door. They have been through shit. It was hard work and more than a little personal growth. Survivors are strong because they had to be just to crawl out of the shit they had been through. They think differently then others, they plan, they look for ways to get better at anything... they are all-around bad-ass. I believe that this leads to different wiring of their thoughts. They are human, but in more of a next-gen kind of way. More importantly, they seem to recognize each other. If autistic people are like aliens among humans, survivors are like mutants: they were human, but they are not so much anymore, and developed a Highlander sense so they could recognize and communicate on the same baseline.

I lived a good, safe life thanks to my father, so never needed to become a survivor. So I think he and I talk just because a condom broke that one time and he made me. My wife is a survivor, like my father, so they can share a baseline that makes communication easier between them. So in a way, my wife assuring me that my opinion holds just as much value as her does in my fathers mind just ending digging up proof that nope, not really. It's kinda fucked, but because I understand it better it doesn't bug me as much.

P.S. My wife is assuring me that he still loves me more. Eh...

Some Notes for a Game

Objectives:

• Playable in a car (diceless and/or paperless)
• Playable while driving
• Easy to memorize
• Little to no notes (could fit adventure entire on napkin)

Character (/Monster?) Gen 

Traits (Pick Two)

• Strong
• Tough
• Smart
• Fast
• Perceptive
• Determined
• Coordinated
• Commanding

Job- either Good at one Job or pick two Jobs (can be anything, race/species is included if important)

One Cool Thing (optional?) (pretty much anything, from background info to special snowflake bullshit, that can be described in one sentence)

License Plate System

Random generation use license plates of next passing vehicle
0 Automatic Pass
9 Pass with a bonus
8 Pass
7 Pass with relevant job
6 Pass with relevant trait
5 Pass if Good at job
4 Pass with relevant job and trait
3 Pass if Good at job with relevant trait
2 Recoverable failure
1 Automatic failure

(need to work in systems for encounters a-z) (vanity/military/out of state plate bonuses?)